I haven’t been part of the dating world in a long, long time, but I remember it. The thrill of meeting someone new, giving him your number, waiting to see if he would call. The excitement and the sense of possibility were so much fun. But I also remember how much it sucked. Talking to lots of guys who were just losers, going on first dates that were painfully boring or awkward, the disappointment of not getting someone’s number, wondering if you’d ever meet someone that you actually clicked with.
Yeah, meeting new mom friends is mostly like the sucky part of dating. As a friend of mine said, “Babies are like friend magnets.” I agree with this to the extent she means that having a baby provides an awesome topic of conversation when you see other moms with babies. I’m not an extrovert by nature, but I’ve talked to many, many moms in the last year. Moms I met at yoga, at music class, at Gymboree, at the park, even at the airport. Some moms are the equivalent of the douchy guy: I probably don’t want to talk to them anyway, but it still pisses me off that they ignore me. Snobs. Plenty of other moms I meet and know right away that they aren’t my type. So that’s fine. We talk but I’m not looking to get digits. But then there are moms that I think I might get along with, so we have that first “playdate” but it doesn’t work out. (Maybe she’s moving soon or a little too into “other dimensions” or not doing vaccinations. It’s nothing personal, but if you’re not vaccinating your baby I’m just not sure I want her around Adeline.) And then there are other moms that I do like – we have a great conversation, maybe we even see each other around more than once, but for whatever reason we never exchange numbers. Then I never run into her again and I’m wondering if she’s the one who got away. And does she wonder the same thing? Do I just need to get the balls to ask for her number?
I’ve met a lot of moms and yet, I still have relatively few mom friends. Maybe I’m just not good at this. I’ve had the most success meeting moms through playgroup, which is a lot like how I had success meeting guys: through friends or in organized situations (school, work, etc). I also met guys at bars, but most mom-meeting situations don’t involve alcohol. Although maybe they should.
Do other moms go through this? How do you get over the awkwardness and just get the digits already?
*** Tomorrow I’ll have a post about our awesome trip to Portland complete with adorable pics of Adeline and Gulliver ***