Please excuse me while I indulge in some self-pity. For anyone who has studied for/taken the bar exam before, I hope you appreciate this. For everyone else, maybe you can just feel a little better about your own life right now?
1. I shouldn’t need to do this. It’s not just that I went to law school and practiced law for almost four years. Because let’s be realistic: law school is too theoretical and practice is too, well, practical. Neither is particularly helpful for the bar exam. But come on! I already studied for, took and passed the bar exam once! I hate that I have to do this again. Advice to new lawyers: once you’ve passed the bar, don’t move. For real.
2. Everything that matters to me has been relegated to “after the bar”. As Adeline stood on a chair and “helped” me cook dinner tonight, I thought that she could really use that play kitchen I’m planning to make for her. And then the usual refrain popped up: “I’ll do it after the bar”. Everything is “after the bar” these days: workout more, edit my latest story, write a book review, go see my elderly grandma… the bar seems to have taken over my life. And that’s just not cool.
3. It’s really boring. If Epstein on contracts doesn’t make you want to stab your eyes out with a dull spoon, I don’t know what will. I’m sorry buddy, but your shower fantasies about Sharon Stone do not make this any more entertaining. They just make me throw up a little in my mouth. Please just get the lecture over with and get out of my life. And please, for the love of god, can you talk more quickly??
4. I don’t have time for this. I mean, really, I don’t have time. When I took the bar before I thought I didn’t have time. Which meant, I didn’t have as much time as I would have liked to do things like cook dinner, go out for drinks with friends, lay out by the pool, go to the beach, go to a friend’s bbq, watch a movie, read, sleep. Sure, I spent three hours a day in class and probably five hours a day studying, but that left a lot of time for other things (including, to be fair, a fellowship I did while studying). Now, when I say I don’t have time, I really mean it. If I even attempt to study when Adeline is around she starts screaming and throwing a fit. That means I can study for an hour while she naps, as long as I can stay awake at night, and the few hours a week she’s at daycare. And that’s it. Needless to say, studying is not going well. Shit.
5. I don’t even want to be a lawyer. Studying for and taking the bar costs $3000 and requires immense amounts of time. I hate that I’m doing all this when I’m not even particularly excited about practicing law. I wish I knew what else to do with my life. Sigh.
So lawyer friends, what am I missing? What else really sucks about studying for the bar?