Let me just start out by saying, I’m a huge fan of babywearing (and attachment parenting generally). I wore Adeline all. the. time. during the first four to six months of her life. I mean, seriously, all the time. We co-slept as well, and there was one day when I realized that I’d been in physical contact with her for almost twenty-four hours. And then I wanted to scratch my eyes out with my dull, unkempt, new-mom nails. I’m kidding, it was lovely. Ok, actually it did make me a little insane. But that’s not really the point. Let me get to the point.
Please excuse my dull, unkempt, new-mom hair
At the risk of losing any natural mama credentials I’ve built up, I have to say: I think it’s really weird when people are still babywearing their toddlers. I was at the park with Adeline the other day and a woman had a two-year-old in a sling. I mean, what’s the point of being at the park? Aren’t you there to let your kid run around, play on the playground, interact with other kids?
I get that sometimes you just need to get somewhere and walking a long distance with your young toddler isn’t going to work. Fine. I think it’s weird when three-year-olds are in strollers, too, but I can recognize that sometimes it’s necessary. But there seems to be a culture of just straight-up babywearing toddlers for extended periods of time. That, I don’t understand.
Even for infants I think it’s important to give them a lot of free time to just explore their surroundings. I used the sling when we were taking a walk or when she was fussy and I didn’t want to have to just hold her. I would put her in the sling, bounce a little, and she would calm right down. Then I could do the dishes, fold the laundry, or just walk laps around the house to keep her calm. Sitting down was never really an option. But, again, as long as she was happy with it, I loved letting her lie on the playmat and explore her toys. She was army crawling at five months, so by that point she didn’t even want to be in the sling – she wanted to be moving around!
And once she started walking? Forget about it! Girl had places to go! Now when we want to put her in the backpack for a long hike she’ll sit for a bit, but then we have to take a break so she can get out and walk. I couldn’t put her in a sling if I tried. And isn’t that the way it should be? Toddlers should be toddling (and running, and climbing, and causing trouble).
Toddlers should be learning lessons about independence and exploration and having fun. And if you practiced babywearing and attachment parenting when your toddler was an infant, he should be securely attached enough to branch out on his own at this age. I mean, isn’t that the point?
OK, go ahead and tell me why I’m wrong.
I’m with you with the attachment issue. I had the Baby Bjorn for as long as my daughter fit in it and it didn’t break my back. It did wonders for her colic. But later, I went for practicality and I completely stand by it. My arms were not equipped to carry a three year-old and I wouldn’t be doing anybody any favors by trying to prove otherwise. So yes, I had a stroller, but, wait for it… at the risk of incurring the wrath of mommies everywhere, I also had a kid-harness! (yes, it’s like a leash, shocking isn’t it?)
Emily (my daughter) was too fast for me. She would let go of my hand and be way at the other side of the mall by the time I would catch up to her (she’d weave through people’s legs, you know, cause she was small and she could). Don’t even get me started on the shenanigans she pulled on the streets where it was TRULY terrifying when she ran off. So I used the harness: she got to let go of me and roam a bit, and I got the safety of knowing she couldn’t go too far. It was a win-win.
My point? Every kid is different
My sister has used a kid harness for her son for the same reason – he’s super fast and runs away from him and it’s just not safe. And yes, you’re absolutely right, every kid is different.
YES! There are ALWAYS exceptions but there should be rules too. My rule: preschoolers should walk! Good for Adeline and good for you – raising an active and interested kid!
Glad I’m not the only one who thinks preschoolers should walk
Hmm it all depends on how happy the kid is I guess. If they’re bopping along, enjoying the ride and a “giant’s” perspective, then I don’t see a problem. All within reason of course. But I think a child that doesn’t want to be in a sling usually kicks and screams, unless it has been neglected or maltreated earlier on. Great that Adeline loves to explore though!
That’s true – toddlers can have very different personalities. Sometimes I just wonder if it’s more the moms not wanting to give up their babies. But you’re right, if the kid isn’t happy she’ll make herself understood, one way or another!