First, some background. This is embarrassing, but I have to admit that we do almost all of our shopping at Whole Foods. I know it’s over-priced and kind of pretentious and a lot of the stuff isn’t necessarily that much better than what you might find at the normal grocery store. But I think the meat and produce is better, and I’m too lazy to make two trips. So oh well.

Adeline loves going grocery shopping. When we’re having a bad day I bribe her with a trip to Whole Foods and everything is better. I mean, I don’t even have to buy her any special food there. No cookies, no ice cream, nothing. She just loves going. She loves being in Whole Foods. She might have inherited a bit of the snob gene from David. Or from me. But I digress.

A couple months ago Addie started shouting out “Whole Foods!” every time we pulled into the parking lot. Place recognition. No big deal. Then she started recognizing other Whole Foods that we had never been to. OK, it’s a pretty recognizable logo. Still not really a big deal.

Then a few weeks ago she pulled out all the stops. I had a box of prepared food that just said “Whole Foods” on it without the logo in any form. It was kind of a weird box, not like the kinds that we normally get. We had purchased it a few days before, and it wasn’t anything special that I pointed out to her at the time. When I brought it out, she took one look at it, pointed at the label, and shouted, “Whole Foods!”

So my daughter can sight read two words.

And they just happen to be the name of a pretentious, snobby, organic, green, hippie/yuppie grocery store.

I’ve created a monster.

Fantastic.