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I pulled into the Walgreens parking lot at about 12:30. I just needed to pick up a prescription. (Yes, for my Hand, Foot and Mouth disease.) I turned off the car, got out, and made it about halfway to the store before I saw them.
High school kids. En masse.
Dammit, I muttered to myself. I forgot about open lunch. I hurried into the store, making my way around multiple groups of teenagers walking slowly, congregated on the sidewalk, and just generally getting in the way. I surreptitiously eyed their amazingly of-the-moment and fashionable clothes and cursed myself for leaving the house in my tennis shoes. I watched them giggle and flirt and I prayed that they would either not notice me at all, or that they would think I was cool and/or desirable. I practically tripped over my own two feet getting into that store because the mere presence of large groups of teenagers made me more self-conscious than I would feel walking around downtown naked in front of a crowd of normal adults.
Good god, people, what’s wrong with me??
I couldn’t get a better picture. They were too terrifying up close.
I noticed this phenomenon a couple months ago, when school finally started at the high school just down the block from us. Every time I forget about open lunch and go to one of the stores or restaurants around the school between the hours of 11:00-1:00, I encounter the same fate. I’m like the nerdy kid in school and I just, desperately, want these other kids to like me.
I don’t really experience this when I encounter just one or two teenagers. It’s mostly when they’re in groups of three or more. This doesn’t do me much good, though, because teenagers seem to always travel in packs. What’s up with that, right?
I probably never would have written about this, too embarrassed and ashamed to even mention it. But last Friday, while walking around downtown with a friend and our two adorable little girls, we were accosted by a large mass of high school kids on their way to the Art Institute. We both fell silent and walked past the high school kids in our own little worlds. When the misery was over, I broke the silence with a joke. “Is it just me, or are teenagers terrifying?” Mercifully, my friend agreed. I’m not the only one!
It’s even worse when I’m out with Addie. I want them to think that I’m a cool mom. That, even though I have a child, I’m not some boring old “parent.” Let’s be honest, I want them to think I’m something of a MILF.
Now I do realize we’re talking about underage kids, so let me be perfectly clear. I have absolutely no attraction to these people. I am not remotely interested in them. They terrify me. And intellectually I know that they are immature and probably hate their lives. But I can’t help it, I want them to think I’m cool, sexy, awesome, and amazing. And also, I think that’s f*cking crazy.
All of which is to say, I really need to remember not to leave the house during open lunch.
Has anyone else experienced this? Please tell me I’m not the only one.
I have a draft post about this exact thing, but I am tossing it b/c you took the words right out of my mouth. Tennis shoes? I hate them most when I am around high schoolers. And why do I want to be a MILF? Because my tiny, tiny heart is still in high school. Great picture. I feel the terror.
I just graduated high school a year and a half ago and this made me laugh so hard. There’s nothing to be terrified of….not overly. Most of the time we’re fairly good about keeping our insulting on a down low until the person is gone….hahahaha joking! Great post
I was on the CTA (train) one Saturday evening when a few teenagers started ripping down the advertisements within the sparsely occupied train car. I called out “Hey guys, stop that!” in a stern but controlled manner. They continued their vandalizing for a few seconds more, then I heard the girl say “people wish they were young like us”. They got off at the next stop. The girl pounded a fist, and then her middle finger, against the outside of the window at my seat.
I wish I would have taken a video/picture of the event with my phone’s camera. I wish I would have stood up to show I meant business. I wish I would have yelled loud so the people on the other end of the train car could hear and take notice. Instead I was in so much shock over the audacity of these teenagers that I wasn’t able to take any action. They had paralyzed me with their powers, even rendering my voice to nothing more than a rasp in a dream.
I don’t feel self-conscious around teenagers. No one should, especially in these times of great polarity where too many kids are being reared as whiny, spoiled brats demanding instant gratification. But this super strong sense of entitlement and superiority is what scares the crap out of me! Some teens are parlaying this confidence into healthy forms of success, but not many!
“People wish they were young like us”?
Bitch, please.
I know how you feel, however, I fight that feeling and rarely let it get to me. I will purposely strut my ‘thirty-something-mother-of-a-one-year-old’ ass past a crowd of teenagers and mentally dare them to say something. I have a wonderful life. I have a wonderful husband. A great education. A great job. A close and supportive family. And I fit into my pre-baby jeans. So even if i’m in gym clothes and sneakers, I know I look good and that they should only hope to be me some day. Plus, the majority of that teenage crowd at my age, post pregnancy and post metabolism drop of death on their 30th birthday will not look this good in these jeans. So they can turn their noses up at me if they want, I silently laugh for what awaits them.
hehehe.
Great attitude! I guarantee they are deeply threatened by sophisticated, successful thirty-somethings. THEY are the ones severely self-conscious, and have a long way to go through their roaring twenties before they can hope to achieve your status. Until then, they spend their teens lapping up peer praise for being disrespectful. Sad.
Oh yeah, I feel it too. And I am a mother of two teenagers… Eeek.
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