I know I haven’t exactly been a beacon of optimism during this pregnancy. I don’t try to pretend to be one of those women who just loves the experience of being pregnant. It’s not really my thing. But now that I’m nearing the end (and possibly the end forever) I’m feeling a little more forgiving. I’m even thinking of things that I actually do love about it.
Well, three things to be precise. And only three things.
1. Clear Skin. I know this doesn’t happen for everyone, but it does for me, and it’s glorious. I don’t know why no one ever told me about adult acne, but I spent my entire teenage life looking forward to adulthood and the disappearance of my hated acne. Only to discover once I entered my twenties that it wasn’t going away. Sure, it got a little better, but it was still there.
And then I got pregnant with Adeline. And poof! My skin was awesome. It’s been even better this time around. Not a single zit or even a little whitehead the whole time. Twice in twenty years that I’ve ever experienced clear skin. God, I’d almost be pregnant over and over just for the glory of no zits. Then again, since I’m exhausted all the time, I’ve got the dark circles, the red splotchies and the general sagginess. So maybe not.
2. Little kicks. OK, let’s be honest. There’s nothing quite as amazing as feeling your tiny baby moving around inside you. This little boy doesn’t move that much, but he still rolls around in there and I get to feel a little knee or elbow moving along the inside of my uterus. I get to watch him stick his little butt out to the side. I get to push back a little and watch him react. I mean, I’m already playing with him!
Of course, sometimes he shoves his feet into my ribs, stretching them out even more than they already are. Or he bounces up into my stomach causing yet another bout of disgusting reflux. Or he pushes down on my bladder, making me pee every fifteen minutes instead of every half hour. Or he punches my cervix, which is one of the stranger, more unpleasant sensations you’ll ever experience. So yeah, I guess I won’t miss it that much.
3. The limitless potential. I have a little person inside of me. I mean, come on, that’s f*cking amazing. I know that he’s a boy and I know that he’s pretty chill. But other than that, I don’t know anything about him. What color hair and eyes will he have? What will his personality be like? Will be love trucks? Will he be a mama’s boy? Will be be hyper? Shy? Smart? Gentle? Musical?
He could be anything, really. Of course, even after birth an infant is still mostly a bundle of potentialities. But every day you learn more about your child and they become more who they are and less a teeming mass of possibilities. And that’s a wonderful and amazing thing to watch. But there’s something pretty special about the chance to imagine any and every possible future for your child.
But anticipation is satisfying for only so long. It’s exciting because you know that soon enough you’ll meet your little one and start to get to know them. And so, even here, I have to say that I’m excited to not be pregnant. To finally meet my little boy and see who he is.
We’re all waiting for you little one. We can’t wait!