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Book Review: The K Street Affair

30 Wednesday Jan 2013

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One thing I’ve loved about blogging is the incredible people that I’ve met along the way. One such person is Mari Passananti, a real-life, published author. It was cool enough personally knowing someone who’s actually published multiple books (it’s possible!), it was even cooler when she offered to send me a proof of her latest book for review. So fun!

The K Street Affair – a legal/spy/financial thriller – was just released (check it out here). This isn’t my usual genre, but I’ve read enough to know that The K Street Affair is not your typical thriller.

k-street-200

Let’s start with the obvious: it’s told from a first-person, present tense point of view, by the main character – a woman. A woman, Lena, who happens to be a lawyer working her ass off at a big law firm. Sweet, I’m sold.

The book starts off a little slower than most thrillers I’ve read (although the action starts right from the beginning), because Mari does something that so many thrillers lack: she sets up actual, believable motivations for her character. This is no hapless professor who stupidly and inexplicably goes along with more and more ridiculous events. (Can you tell I hate Dan Brown?) No, Lena is a fully developed character who has adequate reason to get involved in something way beyond her legal training. And yet, she remains realistically reluctant throughout.

About a third of the way into the novel, something completely unexpected happens (at least I didn’t expect it) and the action skyrockets. From there through the end, it’s non-stop. Mari achieves the ultimate goal of thriller writers: it’s non-put-down-able.

Reading this book after starting my own journey to writing a novel, I couldn’t help thinking about the technical aspects of writing a book that readers can’t put down. Mari does so many things right. She has a character that readers like – Lena is funny, not too perfect, and just self-deprecating enough – in a situation that she can’t get out of, against villains that seem too powerful to overcome. Lena has two goals – one of the patriotic variety and one that’s much more personal and, realistically, much more important to her. And, especially important in the thriller genre, her very life is at risk and things just keep getting worse. Throw in a little romance for good measure and some twists and turns along the way, and you have the recipe for a great book.

But of course, any fool can read a recipe. Not everyone can make a delicious dish out of it. Kudos to Mari for delivering. And thanks for the inspiration!

Top Five Pregnancy Moments (So Far)

27 Sunday Jan 2013

Posted by in Children, Family, Parenting, Pregnancy

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1. That time when I was driving Addie to school and I just got a little tickle in my throat. I only coughed a bit, just enough to clear my throat. But even the smallest cough is enough to set me off – soon I was about to throw up. I was in the middle of Chicago traffic and there was no way I could pull over. I considered rolling down the window, but I started getting flashbacks of throwing up out a cab window when I was 22 and I just couldn’t do it. Besides, I had my daughter in the car and I didn’t want to make any risky moves. So I managed to hold most of it down. And when a little vomit did come up, I swallowed it. Because I’m a grown woman.

2. Admitting to myself that I needed maternity jeans at ten weeks pregnant was hard enough. Then I effed it up. Continue reading »

A Writer’s Journey

22 Tuesday Jan 2013

Posted by in Creative Writing, Writing

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Becoming a writer is a journey. It doesn’t happen overnight, though I wish it did. It takes a hell of a lot of work, both of the pen to paper, learning the craft kind, but also of the internal, emotional struggles kind.

I’ve spent a lot of time putting pen to paper (er, fingers to keyboard – god, that just doesn’t have the same poetry, does it?). I’ve completed an 80,000 word first draft, and I’ve revised it once and am currently working on draft three. I’ve even done fits and starts of two other books (another dsytopian novel and my Mississippi** novel, remember that one?).

I’ve also started doing a lot of work of the learning the craft kind. I’ve read dozens of books on the subject, internalizing the lessons of each one and slowly beginning to put them into practice.

The book I’m currently reading is called The Plot Whisperer. It’s a good book on the craft, with some really good exercises to make you look deeply at your plot. But it also forces you to address your own writer’s journey. And in that way, it has inspired today’s post. She asks that you answer the following questions about yourself and I figured, hey, why not answer them on the internet, for the whole word to see? What could be more painful than that??

So here you go: my answers. If you’re feeling up to it, I’d love to hear your answers as well! Continue reading »

Pregnancy Photos

21 Monday Jan 2013

Posted by in Baby, Children, Family, Photos, Pregnancy

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You all knew I couldn’t let something as awesome as a pregnancy go by without documenting it in photos, right?

Positive Test

And now that I’ve made the announcement, I get to share them with you! Yay!

5 Weeks

This is my official “before” photo. I never got around to actually taking one before I got pregnant, but five weeks is pretty early, so I figure it counts. I look, meh, but did you check out Addie’s brachiosaurus shirt? Pretty rocking, right??

12 weeks

And this is me now. Twelve weeks! I was hoping to take all the pictures in front of that wall outside, but since it was about 10 degrees today (and about -10 with wind chill) that wasn’t going to happen. And also? David is not the best photographer. I’m planning to give him some lessons on angle and focusing at some point. This will have to do for now.

I’m officially in my second trimester, which is awesome. I keep hoping that I’ll magically feel way better, since everyone always talks about how great the second trimester is. But I’m still nauseous sometimes, and I still get sick every couple days. But I was way sicker with Addie, so even this seems like it’s not so bad. And I really do think I’m going to start feeling even better soon.

They say that you get sicker when you’re pregnant with a girl, because the extra progesterone from the female fetus makes you sicker. So I’m kind of thinking this could be a boy. On the other hand, it could just be that I’m not working twenty hours a day, every single day, and I’m not miserable, surrounded by people that I hate doing work that I hate, so my baseline feeling is way better. Being pregnant at a Big Law firm is not a pleasant experience.

Either way, we’ll find out in about seven weeks! I really wanted a girl the first time around, but I’ll be happy either way this time. At least that’s what I’m telling myself. I guess we’ll see when we find out!

The other really different thing this time around is that I’m getting so much bigger, so much faster. I mean, come on, I started wearing maternity jeans at ten weeks. I’m pretty sure I didn’t start wearing maternity jeans until almost twenty weeks last time. I’m not even exaggerating. This is me seventeen weeks pregnant with Adeline:

pregnant_first_time

I’m pretty sure I might have even been sticking my tummy out a little, desperate to look pregnant. On the other hand, I’d have been happy to look like that NOT pregnant after having Adeline.

But that’s ok. Because honestly? Maternity jeans are way more comfortable. I’m not opposed to wearing elastic pants all the time.

Adeline’s Big Announcement

17 Thursday Jan 2013

Posted by in Baby, Children, Family, Parenting, Pregnancy

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Adeline has an announcement that she’s very excited to share with you:

Big Sister

That’s right! She’s going to be a big sister!

Can I just say, I am so freaking excited to finally make this announcement! I’ve been dying to complain about “morning” (all day) sickness and extreme fatigue and every other pregnancy complaint. I’ve also wished that I could talk about my excitement over having a tiny, adorable little baby again. And also my fear that this baby will be just as colicky and fussy as Addie and I won’t sleep for six months. And the fact that I’m already wearing maternity jeans (WTF?).

I’ll be 12 weeks tomorrow, so it’s officially that time: the risk of miscarriage is practically zero and it’s “safe” to tell everyone. I’ve always thought that whole idea was kind of ridiculous, because I’m pretty sure if something did go wrong I’d want to talk to people about it. But whatever. We had our first ultrasound yesterday and saw the baby: it was moving around like crazy and it’s heartbeat was so fast and strong. I cried.

Because good lord, I’m crying all the time. You know that VW commercial with everyone laughing? I love it. And it makes me cry giant, raindrop-sized tears every time. Sometimes when Addie’s watching dinosaur train and there’s a particularly sweet moment between the mom and her kids I find myself on the verge of crying. Seriously. Pregnancy hormones in full effect.

I have about a million other things to say about this whole pregnancy thing, but I’m going to leave it at that for now.

We are so excited and I can’t believe I still have to wait over six months to meet this little one. Tiny baby toes. I can’t wait! If this baby is anywhere even close to as adorable and amazing as Adeline, we’re in for the ride of our lives.

Big sister

Is Being a Mom Really a “Job”?

05 Saturday Jan 2013

Posted by in Children, Family, Parenting, Politics/Current Events

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Remember during election season* when there was that whole flap about stay-at-home-moms and how hard being a mom is and how being a mom is the most important job in the world and blah, blah, blah? And neither side really came out a winner and everyone was kind of left with a bad taste in their mouth? People talked about daycare and working moms and maternity leave and the importance of raising kids well. People even talked about how politicians are out of touch.

And yet. At the time, I felt like there was something else about it that bothered me – something that no one was really talking about. But I couldn’t put my finger on it.

I just realized:

Who gives a shit? Continue reading »

Fiction: The Barn

04 Friday Jan 2013

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I could feel the heavy presence of the barn before I actually saw it. The weight of it seemed to press down on the trees that crushed from each side of the narrow footpath, making the air darker, even though it was still a good thirty feet away. When I finally broke out into the clearing and saw it, it was as though I was coming face to face with an enemy who I’d always known would hunt me down sooner or later.

I paused just past the last trees and sized up the barn, taking the time to study it carefully before walking on. From the woods – when all I had was the sense of it, the feel of it in the air – it had seemed massive, imposing, daunting. But now, as my eyes ran over it, it seemed to shrink, losing importance, becoming more sad than frightening.

It was old. Not abandoned: the vines had recently been cut back from the door and I could hear the faint shuffle of an old cow shifting in its pen, deep in the belly of the barn. But it wasn’t well taken care of. The paint was a faded salmon color, no longer red, and it peeled away at the edges of the boards, creating a sense of movement along the whole expanse of the wall.  The roof sagged in the middle and patches of darker shingles revealed the owner’s attempts to shore up the roof without having to replace the whole thing.

The day was sunny, one of those mid-summer days when the air is so heavy and moist that you feel its density as you breathe it in. Susan used to love those days: she’d sit in the kiddie pool with Patrick for hours, just watching him play. And when he got older and didn’t care to spend time with his boring, old parents, we’d go down to the lake and reminisce about days gone by and let the cool wind off the water ease the burn of the hot day. But now, Susan never wanted to go outside. She said she preferred the air conditioning, but I knew she just couldn’t bear the sight of the places we’d gone with Patrick, the things we’d seen with him. The house was full of memories, too, but it was safe, at least. I could understand.

But I had to get outside. Continue reading »

Little Dreams

03 Thursday Jan 2013

Posted by in Children, Family, Parenting, Toddlers, Writing

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“What do you dream about?”

I ask her as we lay in bed cuddling in the dark room, her tiny fingers playing with my nose and cheeks and ears, like a blind person groping about, trying to get a sense of who this other person is.

She pauses, considering, and in that pause my mind starts to run: Does she know what dreaming is? Does she remember her dreams? Does a two-year-old even dream at all? I hold my breath, waiting to see if she will answer – or if she’ll take the chance to ask for milk or a snack or to go potty – and if her answer will make any sense. My cheeks feel cold and empty now that she’s stopped running her fingers across them and I wish I hadn’t distracted her. I’m about to lean closer to her, hoping to reconnect. Maybe I’ll steal a kiss.

Then, she answers. Short and simple, but so clearly and self-assuredly that all my doubts are erased. It must be true because it’s so completely and perfectly Adeline:

“I dream about cars.”

YA. Or Not.

21 Friday Dec 2012

Posted by in Book Review, Creative Writing, Writing

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I’ve been reading a lot of YA books over the last several weeks (thanks for all the recommendations!) and I think I’ve made two discoveries:

1. My book is not YA.

2. I cannot write YA.

This is probably both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because, let’s be honest, most of the true “YA” stuff is kind of crappy. And some of it is really crappy. I don’t mean it’s not entertaining. It’s all entertaining. But it’s not very good. So if my books are destined to be closer to literary fiction, that’s probably better in the long run. That’s probably better for my soul.

But I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I want to make a living. I want to write books that get published and that people read. YA is the hot ticket right now. That’s what everyone wants to publish and that’s what everyone wants to read. If I can’t do it, I’m at a serious disadvantage. It’s a curse. But there you have it. Sigh.

I recently finished a book called Divergent that I think is the epitome of what I can’t do. Continue reading »

Why Mass Shooters Are All Men, and What We Can Do To Stop Them

15 Saturday Dec 2012

Posted by in Articles, Causes, Children, Family, Gentle Parenting, Parenting, Politics/Current Events

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“There have been at least 62 mass shootings in the US in the last 30 years, and 61 of them were committed by men.” (Mother Jones)

Today, we begin to take stock. Why did this happen? And what can we do to prevent it from happening again?

Why?

Like everything in life that matters, it’s more complicated than we can possibly imagine. And, at the end of the day, this one instance is probably unexplainable. But we can begin to look at patterns. If almost all mass shooters are men, let’s look at the lives of men in our country.

It begins at birth. Studies show that parents of newborn boys are less likely to go to them immediately when they start crying or to give them affection. This is ironic, because newborn boys are more vulnerable and actually need more care than newborn girls. As baby boys grow, parents are more likely to tell them to “suck it up” or “be a big boy” or “be tough” when they cry, get hurt, or are just frustrated about their relative helplessness. Boys learn that needing help is unacceptable, that showing their emotions makes them less of a man, and that the appropriate way to deal with problems is to hide it all inside. When they inevitably face emotional problems later (because emotional problems are simply part of life) they will have no learned ways of dealing with those problems. (Pink Brain, Blue Brain)

As soon as they start watching videos, children are exposed to violence, even if only in small amounts. Why does this effect boys differently from girls? Because most of the violent characters are boys and boys begin to identity with that. Even in Cars, a relatively harmless movie for young children, there’s a scene where the main character – a boy – is shooting up a field of victims. It starts early, and it only gets worse from there.

As young as eight (or maybe even younger for all I know) boys start playing first-person shooter games. These are not the games of our youth, where we shot ducks or tiny, pixelated monsters. These young boys are shooting people, incredibly realistic-looking people. And they’re often talking to others while they do it, shit-talking to the other guys as they hunt them down and kill them. All the while, inuring themselves to violence and fooling their mind into believing they’re capable of killing people. (Most people, even most soldiers, aren’t actually able to shoot another person when push comes to shove. But practice makes perfect, and realistic simulations (like video games) are even used by the army to help soldiers learn how to kill the enemy. (Live Science)) Continue reading »

Embracing Risk

06 Thursday Dec 2012

Posted by in Personal Growth, Travel

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“I’m so scared of getting mugged.” She was a little chubby, with skin so pale it was almost blue – except when she was blushing, which was nearly always – and bright blond, shoulder-length hair that always looked like it could use a good brushing.

I rolled my eyes and tried to ignore her, but she just kept going on about it, her voice plaintive and desperate. We had just arrived in Barcelona for a semester abroad and it was the first time we were all together; coming from different schools all around the country, most of us had never met before. Orientation was in a small building just north of downtown.

I looked at her nametag: Katie. She was from some university in Kansas and looked like she had probably grown up there as well. Amid the general chatter, I heard her mention that she’d never been out of the United States before. When she raised her fears with the instructor in front of the whole group, the instructor assured her that the crime rate was very low and she really had no reason to worry. But she just kept mumbling about it.

Less than a week later, the email from the program director went out to everyone: Katie had been mugged. Continue reading »

Needed: Book and Movie Recommendations

05 Wednesday Dec 2012

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Well, I’ve escaped Dante’s Inferno. For now. I’ve done just enough to feel comfortable saying I have a “Second Draft” and I’m walking away. For at least four weeks.

Given my tendency to perfectionism, that’s really hard. I want to make the book perfect now. I want to keep working. But I know it’s better to let it breathe. Besides, I have some awesome people lined up to read it, and I know getting their feedback is going to make it way better. So I’m putting it away. I really am.

Now what to do with my time? I plan to go back and do some more work on my Mississippi novel. I feel like now that I’m in the writing groove, it will come much more easily.

But, I also want to do some structure and function research for this book. Which means, I want to read books and watch movies that I can learn from to help make my book better. This is where you come in. I’d love to get some recommendations from you for the following categories. (And honestly, even if you think it might be obvious, mention it, because, especially when it comes to movies and pop culture, I’m really clueless.)

1. Books or movies that are the first in a trilogy/series.

2. Books where the protagonist is entering a world he or she is not familiar with.

3. Dystopian books or movies.

4. Books or movies that have some action, but not a super-fast pace, and have proven to be at least somewhat popular. (Is this impossible?)

5. Books or movies where characters have special powers.

6. Books or movies where one person is fighting against a government/social order/etc

Thanks for your help! If your recommendation proves especially enlightening, I’ll put you in my acknowledgments once the book comes out ;)

Revision: One torture Dante forgot

04 Tuesday Dec 2012

Posted by in Art, Creative Writing, Writing

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Writing the first draft of my novel was one of the most exciting things I’ve ever done. Pure adrenaline. Living in a fantasy-land of my own making. Turning off (almost) my inner editor and just letting the writing flow. It was fantastic.

But revision. Revision belongs as a punishment in one of the nine circles of hell. I’m sure Dante just forgot to mention it; somewhere between flames burning the feet, being stuck forever in a block of ice, being torn apart by demons, and being eaten by Satan, he meant to include a part where an author was forced to revise a piece, over and over, for eternity. Continue reading »

Gender-Neutral Parenting: Reaping What I Sowed

29 Thursday Nov 2012

Posted by in Baby, Children, Family, Gentle Parenting, Parenting, Toddlers, Uncategorized

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I sit on the floor in the Kids’ Bedding aisle at Target, nearly in tears. Pink and purple and flowers and butterflies and polka dots to my left, green and blue and orange and bulldozers and dinosaurs and ships to my right. We’re here to buy bedding for Adeline’s new big girl bed, which will arrive tomorrow. And I’m realizing that my efforts to practice gender-neutral parenting have succeeded: Adeline wants the bulldozer sheets. So why am I crying?

New sheets. Current bed.

Why, indeed. Let’s start with the simplest reason: I don’t like the bulldozer sheets. They don’t go with the rest of her room, which I’ve carefully and thoughtfully decorated over the last two years. And personally, I just think they’re ugly. But what right have I to decorate her room? What does it matter what I think of the sheets? These are her sheets and it’s her room. If she likes them, that’s all that matters. My personal aesthetics be damned.

But I want her to like the things that I like! This divergence in our tastes is just another outward sign that she will separate from me, more and more as time goes by, one day slipping away from me entirely. Shit. Even the aesthetics point wasn’t simple.

And it only gets more complicated from here. Continue reading »