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Tag Archives: Parent

To the mother who shared her daughter’s diary with the entire internet

23 Tuesday Apr 2013

Posted by in Articles, Children, Family, Gentle Parenting, Motherhood, Parenting

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There’s a certain segment of the population that seems to believe that our children are our property, to be treated with about as much respect as we give our cars.

The latest example of this unfortunate view? The mother who read her daughter’s diary and then posted pictures on the internet for everyone to see. This, despite the fact that her daughter locked it, kept the key on her wrist, and clearly told her mother not to look in it. But mom was just SO curious that she couldn’t help herself. And then, I guess, so desperate for something to post about that she had to complete her already disgusting invasion of privacy by letting the entire world join in.

Would you read your husband’s diary? Or your best friend’s? If not, then why on earth do you think it’s appropriate to read your child’s?

Reading through the comments on the original article, I see some of the justifications: Continue reading »

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Happily Attachment Parenting

18 Tuesday Sep 2012

Posted by in Baby, Children, Family, Gentle Parenting, Mindfulness, Parenting, Toddlers

≈ 13 Comments

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It’s that time again: another article meant to provoke a big response by attacking attachment parenting. Nicola Kraus recently wrote an article for the Huffington Post entitled, My Message to Dr. Sears: Why I Chose Detachment Parenting.

Nicola writes about Blossom “nursing her 25-year-old” in public (he’s actually only three), about her various friends who’ve gotten divorced as a direct result of co-sleeping with their kids (surely there were no other issues, right?), “parents who sometimes spontaneously burst into tears they are so sleep-deprived and miserable”, and a friend who, the implication is, has an unnatural affection for her son (do you think they’re still friends?).

I know I’m giving Nicola what she wants by writing this blog post (a link back to her article, more readers and more attention) but I just can’t help myself. I have a few things to say.

Nicola, you write that you “have yet to meet a parent of a child over 9 months old who isn’t in some kind of agony trying to undo the attachment crap.” So my question is: When can we meet? I’d like to prove you wrong. Continue reading »

Click This & Friday Phone Photos (5/25/12)

25 Friday May 2012

Posted by in Articles, Children, Family, Gentle Parenting, Parenting, Photos, Toddlers

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** A collection of articles and other fun stuff from around the web. Mostly dealing with babies, parenting, moms, etc. But not always. **

Am I Mom Enough? A Motherhood Wish List (Lovely, lovey post on our wishes for our children.)

My Family Has Never Been To McDonald’s (“Kids aren’t born with the lust of burgers, fries, and sodas — you have to introduce the foods to them.” This tends to be my general philosophy: kids learn from you what acceptable eating habits are.)

Alert the Presses: My Family Eats Fast Food (On the other hand, I also believe in moderation. Sometimes you eat a cookie or a hamburger. Deal with it.)

My Precious Love, I am Sorry (A heart-breaking post about one mother’s regret over allowing her son to be circumcised.)

Celebrities Who Breastfed Toddlers (but not on the cover of TIME) (Pretty self-explanatory. I like this quote from Michael Jordan’s mother, who breastfed him for three years: “I feel this is why he is the athlete he is.”)

** Friday Phone Photos **

Any guesses which article of clothing Adeline insisted on wearing?

#photoadaymay a favorite place: the park. Always fun, even on a rainy day!

Running in the rain

Tiny footprint

#photoadaymay where I stand: with my daughter

One of these two is not supposed to be outside…

Seen on our walk around the block

Why ride in the wagon when you could pull it instead?

Addie’s version of the woods: Wash Park

#photoadaymay #pink shoes, thrown off

Click This & Friday Phone Photos (5/18/12)

18 Friday May 2012

Posted by in Articles, Baby, Causes, Children, Family, Gentle Parenting, Parenting, Photos

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** A collection of articles and other fun stuff from around the web. Mostly dealing with babies, parenting, moms, etc. But not always. **

For women in the workplace, it’s still about looks not deeds (A response to the media frenzy about Hillary Clinton daring to go out without makeup. I certainly experienced pressure to look a certain way when working in a corporate environment, and I overheard male coworkers talk about how women looked as much as they talked about the work women did.)

TIME’s take on toddler nursing: A madonna, her child… and a chair? (This is a great response to the TIME cover controversy from mothering.com.)

Breasts in Mourning: How Bottle-Feeding Mimics Child Loss in Mothers’ Brains (I’ve posted before about how weaning can lead to depression. This is a very scientific look at the mechanism behind that, especially related to early weaning or formula-feeding from the beginning.)

Why Parents Shouldn’t Force Kids to Say “I’m Sorry” (An interesting take on a parental habit – “Now say you’re sorry” – and why we should break it.)

The science of attachment parenting (An informative, objective look at what the science says about the value of attachment parenting. And also, an introduction to “mind-minded” parenting, which I’ve been practicing naturally and it apparently has a name!)

** Friday Phone Photos ** Continue reading »

Click This & Friday Phone Photos (5/11/12)

11 Friday May 2012

Posted by in Art, Articles, Baby, Causes, Children, Gentle Parenting, Parenting, Photos, Toddlers

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** A collection of articles and other fun stuff from around the web. Mostly dealing with babies, parenting, moms, etc. But not always. **

How to Miss a Childhood (A recipe for a lifetime of regret. And some suggestions for change. Hint: stop checking your email.)

The Six Enemies of Greatness (and Happiness) (The whole list is great, but this is my favorite line: “If you’ve been doing what you’re doing for years and it’s not-so-great, you are in a rut. Many people refer to these ruts as careers.”)

Arrested Development: The Criminalization of America’s Schoolchildren (Very interesting article on the anti-freedom message that our children are receiving in public schools.)

MCA’s Feminist Legacy (Listening to and reading about the Beastie Boys over the last week has reminded me of how much I used to love them. This is a great article about the way that they grew up and came to embrace feminism.)

Six to Nine-Month-Olds Understand the Meaning of Many Spoken Words (This is the kind of thing that it surprises me we don’t clearly know already. Adeline very clearly understood so many words at six months old. At nine months she would walk to the laundry room if I mentioned doing laundry and help with the task.)

** Friday Phone Photos ** Continue reading »

Click This & Friday Phone Photos (5/4/12)

04 Friday May 2012

Posted by in Articles, Baby, Children, Family, Gentle Parenting, Parenting, Photos, Toddlers

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** A collection of articles and other fun stuff from around the web. Mostly dealing with babies, parenting, moms, etc. But not always. **

10 Things Your Commencement Speaker Won’t Tell You (Life advice that should be given at graduation… and to our children throughout their lives.)

Can Your Preschooler Learn Anything From an iPad App? (Short answer: we don’t really know yet, but maybe, if it’s the right app. And yes, it’s probably better than T.V.)

Are Teenagers Better At Solving The Thin Model Problem Than “Vogue” Editors? (Vogue says they’ll try not to knowingly hire anorexic models. Why not just stop already?)

N.C. Preacher Tells Parents to Crack Wrists, Punch Effeminate Children ( This is heartbreaking. What is wrong with these people? In sum, this preacher says that dads should break “limp wrists” and punch boys who act too girly; girls can play sports, but only if they’re always trying to look pretty.)

Parenting Styles: Is Your Child’s Temperament A Good Fit With Yours? (Interesting article on personality types and how to deal with it if your temperament clashes with your child’s temperament.)

** Friday Phone Photos ** Continue reading »

Click This & Friday Phone Photos (4/27/12)

27 Friday Apr 2012

Posted by in Articles, Baby, Gentle Parenting, Parenting, Photos

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** A collection of articles and other fun stuff from around the web. Mostly dealing with babies, parenting, moms, etc. But not always. **

5 Common Pregnancy Practices That Need To End (& Why) (I’m not a huge fan of Babble, but I definitely agree with this list.)

Indian teenager annuls her child “marriage” (I love it when girls stand up for themselves and there’s a happy ending!)

We Can Calm Crying Babies (How The Happiest Baby On The Block can help prevent child abuse.)

Parenting Without Gender Expectations Means Accepting All Outcomes (When gender-neutral parenting still produces an “all boy” son.)

** Friday Phone Photos ** Continue reading »

Nature vs. Nurture

23 Monday Apr 2012

Posted by in Baby, Children, Parenting

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Adeline excitedly walks down the steps, holding onto the railing. As soon as her feet hit solid ground she takes off, racing to the playground, followed by her four school-mates. Within moments, Adeline, Quinn and Logan are up on the swaying bridge, jumping up and down and screaming together. Adeline runs for the slide and Quinn and Logan follow her. They all slide down and pile up at the bottom, laughing and shouting the whole time. They run around the play equipment to the stairs and soon they’re back up on the bridge. Adeline starts shouting “Ba ba ba!!!” and Quinn and Logan join in.

Meanwhile, Quinn’s twin sister, Grace, came down the steps with the rest of them but has since been wandering around the edges of the playground, looking at flowers and talking quietly to herself. When she comes near me, where I sit on the bench taking it all in, she gives me a happy little smile. She’s not lonely – she’s perfectly content playing by herself. Parker, the final child in Adeline’s class, is also playing by himself. He sits in the little car and pushes himself around. Every few minutes he goes over to where Adeline, Quinn and Logan are playing and he tries to get involved. But he inevitably goes off on his own again. He wants to play with them, but he’s shy.

This is the dynamic that plays out every day when I go to pick Adeline up from school. It’s so invariable that it’s striking. These children, ranging in age from 17 months (my sweet Adeline is the youngest) to 2.5 years, have amazing, distinct and realized personalities. Some are outgoing, loud, active, extroverted, while others are quiet, shy, calm, introverted. I watch them all and the truth seems undeniable: this is genetic. Continue reading »

How Many Parenting Books Can One Person Read?

15 Thursday Mar 2012

Posted by in Baby, Book Review, Children, Parenting, Toddlers

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I think I’ve mentioned before that I have an unshakeable (if unrealistic) belief that any problem can be solved if you just read the right book. Well, it turns out that parenting is full of problems.  I don’t mean that in a bad way (although sometimes I do), but more in the sense that there’s just a shit ton of stuff you’re clueless about and you need to figure it out.  Hence, I’ve been reading a lot of books.

my current collection

Yesterday I dutifully logged on to Amazon and ordered some more books. (Please, let’s just avoid the Amazon issue.  I love my local bookstore, but it can be a pain to get there with Addie and, honestly, they don’t always have what I’m looking for. Plus, Amazon has free two-day shipping.  Oh, and obviously I didn’t buy the books on an e-reader.)

my latest purchase (the BabyLit books, which btw are awesome, are for Addie)

So anyway, there I was, sitting on the couch in my pajamas ordering books (another benefit of Amazon – no need to dress!) when I had a (for me) blasphemous thought: “Seriously, how many parenting books can I really read?”

When Adeline was first born I was reading all the baby books and driving myself crazy.  I discovered that the What to Expect books are not remotely my style, but I was pretty happy with The Baby Book by Dr. Sears. But even then, it all seems designed to make a new mother slowly lose her mind.  So I shunned the baby books.  By that time, though, I was deep in the midst of baby sleep books.  Which I’ve already talked about at length.  Thankfully, Adeline is sleeping pretty well these days, at least when we’re not traveling or teething.

So I’ve moved on to what could be a life-long pastime: parenting books.  By which I mean, books about the best ways to raise, educate, discipline, smother/not smother, communicate with and learn to ignore your children. I’ve already written about discipline and gender modeling, but I guess you can expect more reviews to come.

That is, if I don’t throw up my hands and say “to hell with these parenting books!” first.

Click This (3/9/12)

09 Friday Mar 2012

Posted by in Articles, Baby, Children, Parenting

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** A collection of articles and other fun stuff from around the web. Mostly dealing with babies, parenting, moms, etc. But not always. **

We Need To Stop Circumcision (Big thanks to my new Facebook admin for finding this great article about the negative effects of circumcisions. And hey, while we’re on the subject, “Like” my Facebook page and check out our two awesome new admins!)

American Women Crushed for TIme: Have Themselves to Blame? (From the other new admin! Reading is one of my biggest pleasures and I try to make sure I have at least a little time to read every day – it really does make a difference.)

Dance Moms Has Devolved Into Little Girls Doing Burlesque in Nude Suits (The sexualization of girls in this country is so incredibly heartbreaking; I just have no words.)

Nursing Mom’s Diet No Guard Against Baby’s Allergies (The whole allergy issue is still so inconclusive, but this study shows that making diet changes while you’re pregnant and/or nursing probably isn’t helpful and may even be harmful.)

Mothers and babies can instantly synchronize their hearts just by smiling at each other (I love this! It’s not at all surprising, given how deeply connected mothers and babies are.)

(All of these articles were previously posted on the Facebook page. I’m curious if most people who read this post also like the Facebook page and, if so, if you’d prefer to have different articles in each place?  I aim to please!)

Going Home

22 Wednesday Feb 2012

Posted by in Baby, Children, Family, Pensive Moments, Travel

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I’m going home in two weeks.  By which I mean, back to my parents’ house.  Is it wrong that I’m almost 30 and I still think of my parents’ house as “home”?

Of course, I think of this house as home too.  When I’m at the park with Adeline and she’s starting to get cranky, I tell her, “OK, sweetie, let’s go home.”  When I actually manage to get a night out with David and we have to get back to relieve the babysitter, I say, “I think we should head home.”  And yes, when I’m at my parents’ house in a couple weeks and I start to get sick of not having all my stuff around, I’ll call David and say, “I’m really excited to come home.”

But in many ways, this doesn’t feel like my home.  Maybe it’s because we’re renting.  There’s a certain transitory feeling when you know you might only be in a house for another year.  You don’t quite settle in because you know you might just have to pack up again.  You don’t really like the wall color but you can’t paint it.  The sinks are bizarre but you can’t do any renovations.  You wish the backyard was fenced in, but you can’t put up a fence.

And more than that, there’s no history here. Continue reading »

Click This (1/20/12)

20 Friday Jan 2012

Posted by in Articles, Baby, Family, Parenting

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** A collection of articles and other fun stuff from around the web. Mostly dealing with babies, parenting, moms, etc. But not always. **

“Mom, I’m Fat”: How I Responded To My 7-Year-Old Daughter (This is just beautiful – as mothers we need to exude confidence in our bodies if we want our daughters to be confident in theirs)

The Ability to Love Takes Root in Infancy (A fascinating article about a new study showing the benefits of well-attached baby/parent pairs)

Don’t Carpe Diem (trying to love every moment of parenting is an impossible task, but loving the magical moments you get when you least expect them is what makes parenting all worth while)

No Mom Is an Island (on why it’s ok to ask for help)

Click This (12/23/11)

23 Friday Dec 2011

Posted by in Articles, Baby, Children, Family, Parenting

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** A collection of articles and other fun stuff from around the web. Mostly dealing with babies, parenting, moms, etc. But not always. **

The Gift of Being a Parent (sometimes – ok, a lot of times – it’s not perfect, but it’s always a gift)

Did I Miss Out By Never Believing in Santa? (It has crossed my mind not to do the whole “Santa” thing with Adeline, but then I wonder if that’s just cruel…)

Hey Jimmy Kimmel, I Gave My Kids a Terrible Present (this is a few weeks old, but just in case you haven’t seen it…)

And on that note… Merry Christmas!!

Click This (11/18/11)

18 Friday Nov 2011

Posted by in Articles, Baby, Family, Opinion, Parenting

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** A collection of articles and other fun stuff from around the web. Mostly dealing with babies, parenting, moms, etc. But not always. **

Top Ten Reasons Why 3 is Worse Than 2 (again with the terrible threes…)

Judge chastises woman for breastfeeding in courtroom (disgusting… the judge is an idiot.  here’s a more elaborate response: Woman Reprimanded By Judge For Breastfeeding In Court)

Dr. Sears Addresses Recent Co-Sleeping Concerns (I’m not really up for writing a well-thought-out response to the recent Milwaukee ad campaign against co-sleeping, so here’s an article that discusses safe co-sleeping)

Is daylight savings time making kids fat?  (yet another reason to get rid of “fall back” – the main reason being that I really, really hate it)

The Non-Perfect Parent (why sometimes good-enough is best)

A toast to parents everywhere

17 Thursday Nov 2011

Posted by in Baby, Family, Parenting

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Last night David and I popped a bottle of champagne, poured two glasses, and toasted ourselves.  “To us, for making it through one year of parenting!”  Because, you know what?  We fucking* deserved it!

We made it through the middle-of-the-night poop explosions, the months of no sleep, the tensions around who’s working harder, the inevitable “No, I got up with her more last night” disagreements, the isolation, the judgment from other parents, the “I just held a baby all day please stop touching me” moments, more visits from in-laws than a childless person has in a decade, the complete destruction of our social life, the screaming in a restaurant when we tried to finally get out of the house for once, and much, much more.

Having a baby is really hard.  And that’s the understatement of the year.  Some people have “easy” babies, but don’t let them fool you.  They deal with poop explosions and screaming fits too.  I still say that it gets easier after the first few months, but I know that in many ways it’s going to get harder.  Toddlers?  I hear they suck.  As much as I love my little girl and I think she’s the sweetest thing ever, I know that she’s going to suck sometimes too.

But you know what makes it easier?  Knowing that other parents are going through the same shit and that they’re making it, one day at a time.  So I propose a toast to all parents.  For making it through however much of this parenting thing you’ve made it through so far – be it three months or thirty years.  Your journey is your own, your struggles are valid, your love for your child is the most wonderful thing in the world.  So raise your glass and drink it down.  You fucking deserve it.

* Sorry for the profanity, but sometimes it’s called for.