Writing is a journey, I’ve decided. When I first started writing I thought that I would one day become “A Writer” and then I would be there. What I thought “there” was, I’m not entirely sure. But I was convinced it would be somewhere I was happy to be.
At this point in my journey, I think I could make a decent argument that I am “A Writer”. But I don’t feel like I’ve gotten there yet. Instead, I’m just here.
Sometimes here feels hopeless. It feels exhausting and overwhelming. I feel like I’m writing from despair. I will never be good enough. I will never finish anything worth showing to anyone. And even if I do finish something, it will never be as good as I want it to be.
Sometimes here is just disappointing. I have a big day on the blog, but it doesn’t really mean anything. I get an article published, but no one really cares. I’m not any happier. I don’t have more friends or a better life. I’m just here still.
Sometimes here feels fun. I’m writing from a lighthearted or excited place. It’s sunny and I’ve had a good day with Adeline. Small things seem funny and I want to write about them. I’m motivated and I feel like I could write forever. Those days are ephemeral, though. They go as quickly as they came. I suck them dry while I have them and throw them aside when they’re done. And then I’m here again.
Sometimes, when I’m really lucky, here feels hopeful. Not in the manic, I’m-going-to-do-a-million-things-before-bedtime way, but in a more settled, calming, enduring way. I have hope that I will find the time to write, that my family and friends will support me, that I’ll find solutions for the scenes or posts that are giving me trouble and be inspired for the scenes that will be my darlings.
When I first started writing seriously, I had this impression that my best material would be written from a place of despair. I thought I needed that raw emotion to bring substance and voice to my writing. Now, though, I know better. I write best from a place of hope. Hope gets me out of bed in the morning. Hope gives me the strength to open my computer and keep writing. Hope helps me feel like I can breathe again.
I’m committed to writing from a place of hope. Where are you writing from?
I’m participating in Melanie Crutchfield’s Blog Relay for Hope. I was handed the Relay Baton by the hilarious and ever honest Outlaw Mama.
I’d like to invite Laura of I’d Rather Sit on the Couch to take the Baton and write a post about Hope.
Here are the instructions:
Step 1: Write a blog post about hope & publish it on your blog.
Step 2: Invite one (or more!) bloggers to do the same.
Step 3: Link to the person who recruited you (me, in this case) at the top of the post, and the people you’re recruiting at the bottom of the post.
Melanie Crutchfield will be holding “Closing Ceremonies” around August 10 and will gather up little snippets from people who wrote about hope, so make sure you link back to her as the originator of the relay.
Thanks for reading!